Life up-dates

Three months have past since my last update and its pretty damn impressive just how much changes in such little time... In these last ninety-ish days I've gone from happily full-time employed to happily full-time unemployed. There are certain things to which the person you are and the things you stand for cannot be compromised. Such was the case in regards to my former employer. Life as a somewhat newly transgendered adult have been in short, utterly amazing. I look back at pictures of the person I was in August of last year and its like looking into the eyes of a stranger physically. An experience I can somewhat describe as the eerie feeling of deja-vu coming to fruition. There are some close friends and people in my past who have chosen to step away and distance themselves with the changes that have blossomed in me. Its truly unfortunate though that they chose to do that I must say and the sole reason I write that is due to the fact that the best of me has yet to truly show itself. What I'm trying to get at is that if you enjoyed our company together in the past, if you hold memories of times spent with me before my transition, I can say that you are 100% missing out on so much more. Life has sped up, happiness has shown no limits and true friends and family have blessed my life with amazement. The story continues, like the described euphoric climb to the top of Mt. Everest. You take each step with purpose, you hold on to those you love like a climbers rope, a lifeline not only of survival but of wonder. When the mountain wind picks up, and the snowstorm attempts to unclench your grasp of the rope, you dig in your heels, stay centered  and persist onwards to your goal. In my experience for the most part, is when people see you fighting for something you believe in, its truly only a matter of time until the courage spills over onto them and like a mountain caravan of friends and family, everyone experiences the great things life has to offer. Helping each other take the next step up, offering a helping hand when someone slips and falls...

Ive written about the amazing person that brought me into this world a long time ago and the strength and compassion she carries. But she isn't the only incredible part of my family.  At the age of eight, my sister came into my life. This little bundle of smiles and attitude that no one could brush aside and ignore. From the get go, she was a very special person. She had a strength in character that was undeniable and to this day I admire. In her youth she would challenge my friends at whatever event or game was being played, without hesitation. There were many times in the wee hours of the morning after a teenage party that she sat co-pilot next to me while I drove. There were times we would be in the driveway at 3 A.M. washing the mud off of moms truck, or accompanying me to fetch a broken license plate in the middle of a swamp while the rest of the house was asleep. She was there. With a smile on her face and a complaint the furthest thing from her mind. Even more amazing about this little girl is the fact that she overcame the loss of her father at the young age of eight and blossomed into the one of the most amazing human beings I have ever had the chance of knowing. Our lives have been both blessed and cursed in ways you could say, but our connection and strength together has always seen us through the dark patches in our lives and will only continue to do so. To top off what she has brought into to my life, is the birth of my niece, and just when I thought that you couldn't pack any more character into such a small package... BOOM!! :) Together, the two of them have cemented the purpose and focus of my life. My energy has a place to be focused, my knowledge a place to be passed along to and my experiences a place to rest..

Hear I sit, present day staring into my pups eyes. Its very hard to say just when things are going to happen. I know there are certain major events in my life that are coming to be, but just when that time is I'm still uncertain. I have put my home up for sale with the decision to go back to school. The day of my breast surgery I feel is getting very close as well. Once that is done there will be on overflowing amount of focus to be guided onto other aspects of my life. The weight on my mind of not having breasts has been such a burden emotionally and its time is coming, and soon. Two months ago I began HRT(Hormone Replacement Therapy) The transformation process of HRT is a slow one and to different affects in different people. In that time, I have begun to see slight changes in the oiliness of my skin. Mentally there are slight differences as well. I do find my feeling of empathy(already a strong emotion for me) has increased, as well as my sensitivity to sadness and happiness. It seems to be more peaky rather than a gradual change. My days of turning wrenches as a means of monetary gain are coming to a long overdue close sometime in the future. Over that past 2 years I have purged most of the negatively impact-full things in my life, whether that be environmentally negative of socially negative. My toys are all self powered and my body has rewarded me. My truck has been sold and now become a car to save on fuel. Employment is coming to a head as well where I wont be affecting the environment in any negative way, something that has bothered me for a long time with my former employers. All of this has reinforced my decision to head back to school and make a difference in peoples lives and a difference in the environment. All of these physical things that I acquired and felt the need to own have all but gone away. I cherish all the memories I experienced with them there's no doubt, but now as I walk or hike rather than ride an ATV(All-Terrain Vehicle),  I feel like they were a diluted experience. Sure the speed thrill was there, but its such a small part of the experience of being outdoors. A subject I can and will go on about next time; Connection to the planet.....

To be continued...


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